Sicstories

I have been a part of the expansion community, if you want to call it that, for the better part of 20 years. The first 5 years of that I should not have been on the scene at all; I was given internet access with minimal supervision and early websites run by unscrupulous individuals made no attempt to stop children from entering what is absolutely an adult space. Namely, Animexpansion/PAWG and its webmaster Mistystuffer. In fact, I was directly groomed by him with a (borderline legal) image of an actual child when I myself was underage. He asked if the child in the image was attractive because of her bust size. Many of my early erotic stories were written and hosted by Mistystuffer when I was between the 6th and 8th grade.

I vanished from the scene out of nervous exhaustion, and to examine what the moral lines in this community mean to me. There is a lot of vagueness and argument over what is acceptable, as characters’ ages are often fluid and sometimes up to interpretation. There are also characters whose stated ages don’t line up with their physical appearances. Fanworks can depict characters however they wish as well, older, younger, or with whatever traits the creator sees fit.

I think my original stance has some validity to it, in that depictions should aim to avoid any child coding , and if performed in good faith without trying to use this as a loophole this often produces above-board works.

When I made a blog for taboo content such as lolisho I was in a manic state of mind and trying to cope with what I am very certain are symptoms of pOCD . My thought process was essentially “fiction is not reality”, but the backlash and anxiety that followed gave me pause and made me think. Fiction helped save me from abusive aspects of my childhood and helped teach me morality. Just because I create smut doesn’t mean it can’t influence people similarly. At the bare minimum, content that implicitly condones abuses (and all lolisho certainly does) should be thoroughly tagged and kept off of mainstream channels.

As such, I completely own what I’ve created in the past and am announcing that I will not be creating any such content going into the future. For me, it proved erosive for my mental health and worsened my well being, and I feel foolish for having engaged with it.

For everyone I’ve hurt by suddenly jumping into writing that subject matter, I apologize from the bottom of my heart.